Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: Entertainment edition

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, watch it NOW.

Woah, it has been over a month. Bad Jordan. Eh, nobody reads this anyway but here we go.

I come to you, oh nonexistent readers, to implore you to watch the greatest superhero-antihero-musical-online thing ever. It is called Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog and it was made by Joss Whedon. (May His name be praised.) For you Philistines who don’t know who Joss the Boss is, hover over his name there for his IMDB page. Chances are you still don’t know who I’m talking about. Okay, stupid, scroll down the page. Keep going, past my embarissingly long review of Indy 4: George Has Betrayed Us Again, to the imbedded Youtube link. That post, WAYYY at the bottom describes my unending love for a show called Firefly. (You know how most every girl I know has a disturbing love of Twilight? [Or for the people who refuse to let go, Harry Potter.] That is the way I feel about Firefly. But that is okay because it is awesome. Why am I rehashing this? Oh, right, Joss made that show. You’ve probably never heard of Firefly either, but Joss also made Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Heard of that one? Good. Ever seen it? No? You should, but I’ll save that for the “Wag of the Finger” portion. Okay, now that you know (sort-of) who Joss is, on to stuff about the web-show.

“Dr. Horrible” stars Neil Patrick Harris (that guy from Doogie Howser, M.D., a show that was on before I was born) as the title character, a third or fourth-tier supervillain who has a crush on the girl at the laundromat. Really, I’m serious. And there’s singing. Good singing. Music was a collaboration between Joss and his brother Jed, and I would have to say that the songs are more Broadway-style than the previous Whedon musical outing, the sixth season musical Buffy episode “Once More With Feeling”, which is also excellent. The girl at the laundromat is Penny, played by Felicia Day from…. nothing. Really she was in 8 episodes of the last season of Buffy and nothing else I’ve ever heard of. Anyways, she works with the homeless. Blech. Rounding out the main cast is “superhero” and nemesis of Dr. Horrible, Captain Hammer, played by my favorite Canadian (and you can quote me on that) Nathan Fillion, aka Captain Mal Reynolds from Firefly. Yes, he sings too, and his introduction is full on singing while surfing on top of a van. Everyone sings and it is awesome. Just go watch it. You can see the whole thing here: Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog You will be glad you did.

In case you couldn’t tell, that was the “Tip of the Hat” portion. Now for the Wag of the Finger. My topic today, and I will probably bring the wrath of nearly every female (and Jon who reads them too) I know down on me, is the Twilight series. Note how I said that so I don’t have to italicize it, thus giving it the status of a book. First off, I will say that I haven’t read them. This is for two reasons: 1. I’m not a girl. 2. I don’t hate myself that darn much. Now you (for the remainder of this section, “you” refers to the rabid fangirls of this wretched phenomonon) will say, “But you haven’t read them, how can you say anything negative?”. My answer to this is that they have ticked me off throughly without me needing to read them.

Why do I detest them so? Well, first off I hate chick-lit in any and all forms. Secondly, all I’ve ever heard people talk about when they speak of it is how perfect that Edward guy is and how they wish they could be Bella Swan. (Isn’t that the name of Keira Knightley’s character in Pirates? Wait, that’s Elizabeth Swann. With two N’s. Nevermind.) Swooning over fictional characters is creepy (I’m looking at you, Ms. McLean). I’ve discussed this throughly and determined that guys don’t do that. Guys, when they are attracted to a character, skip straight to the actress in question. Yes, this only happens in TV/movies, not in books. If you are going to idolize someone let it be the attractive real person behind the character. Still pathetic, oh yes, but less creepy.

The other problem I have is the books fundamental disregard for anything about vampires ever. (Disclaimer: I am sourcing this straight from Wikipedia, if any of it is wrong, correct me and I will find something else to grouse about.) If I may quote, “they have very few weaknesses – they are not harmed by holy water, garlic, stakes, crosses, or even the sun.” Really? REALLY? I can see not being harmed by garlic, that is kind of lame and also delicious but sunlight and stakes not doing anything? Speaking of sunlight, Wikipedia says they can go into the light but avoid it because, get this, they SPARKLE! What the hell? Sparkly male-model vampires? Who writes this stuff? Oh, a housewife from Utah. Figures. I will admit that my primary comparison is Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show obviously about dispatching the demons of the night, but having an anything in a book without weaknesses is silly and doesn’t allow for much excitement does it?

I would implore you, Twilight-people, to take a look at the Buffy DVDs. It has human-vampire romance! Really, I swear! I’m willing to bet that Angel is at least 3x as brooding as Edward ever wanted to be. Plus, brooding aside, he is pretty hardcore, especially when he loses his soul. Evil Angel > regular Angel. It is hillarious and clever and well worth your time, as is anything by Joss. Just don’t watch the original Buffy movie. It is just BAD. (Joss didn’t make it.)

In other news, I met my reading goal last week. Wheee. One more Tip of the Hat: Dune. Go read it if you haven’t already. Please.

Jordan Keagle has a Ph.D in Horribleness.

Pedal to the Metal

Hmm… less than a week since last post. Better than usual I suppose. *shrugs*

Leastways, I have big-ish news. I have a car now. The logical question at this point is “Do you have your license?” and no, I don’t. See, my family decided to do things a little bit backwards as the other cars we have are a big ol’ Ford Expedition and the even larger F-250 Battleship Truck, not exactly great learning to drive cars. This in mind, the family went out to look at cars and the first one we saw we ended up buying. If this surprises you, you’ve never dealt with my dad. He isn’t impulsive, per say, but he is a lot less burdened by the indecisiveness my mom and I suffer from. If he finds the thing he wants, he gets it because it may not be there tomorrow.

Onto the car itself, it is a 2007 Hyundai Accent with 14,000 miles on it. It was owned by some old people who apparently smoked in it a bit but we set off some magical anti-stink bomb and now it smells fine. It is really nice to drive, its tiny and it turns on a dime.

I have to get my license this summer because I am supposed to drive myself and my brother to school next year. Fun.

We’ve had two more game sessions since last post and things are going well, but the players are finding that furniture is more often than not secured to the ground in the galaxy far, far away. (On account of their penchant for looting.) Last night instead of fighting in an encounter, Alex’s character seduced the lady folk enemies while the rest of the group blasted the others. Alex is playing a pink alien with a matching pink lightsaber. How ghastly.

Reading update: 16,287 pages
3,713 to go

Jordan Keagle would like to emphasize that his car does not actually have Rebel Alliance symbols on it. Yet.

Harmonica of Time

This is because I am a total nerd.

Saria’s Song

f a b f a b f a c e d b c b g e
-5 -6 -7 -5 -6 -7 -5 -6 7 8 -8 -7 7 -7 6 5

Zelda’s Lullaby

b d a b d a b d a g d
-7 -8 -6 -7 -8 -6 -7 -8 -10 9 -8

Song of Time

a d f a d f a c b g f g a d c e d
-6 -4 -5 -6 -4 -5 -6 7 -7 6 -5 6 -6 -4 4 5 -4

A Grave Threat To America

My friends, many things over the decades have threatened to destroy America. These include British people, Nazis, Communists, Hippies and Oprah. The greatest threat, aside from bears who are already here and planning, is that of ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

May I first say that zombies are only reanimated corpses of the dead. Day of the Dead = zombies. 28 Days/Weeks Later* = NOT ZOMBIES. They are diseased humans, not dead people. And they are far too quick and agile to be zombies. Zombies are legally required to both limp and lack the ability to climb, jump or most anything other than shuffle along.

* Note: Do not confuse 28 Days Later with 28 Days. One is about the outbreak and aftermath of a horrible disease. The other is a romantic comedy with Sandra Bullock and Viggo “freaking Aragorn” Mortensen.

You may be saying, Jordan, you handsome devil, why do you warn us of zombies now of all times? You see, I recently did a speech in Economics regarding zombies, which resulted in thunderous applause and a hailstorm of laughter. My teacher, at the conclusion, said: “That was kind of unorthodox. I’m not quite sure how to score that.” He was laughing though, so I think I did pretty well.